THIS was enough to make me want to say, "To HELL with it! I'm eating whatever I want. NOTHING seems to be conquering this madness!"
Truth. I was very discouraged and seriously thought of re-connecting with my usuals. I really have missed those bonding moments when we hung out together. My Starbucks drive thru to pick up a few of my usuals; cake pops or the salted caramel brownie or muffin, the first tantalizing bite of Haagen daz chocolate peanut butter ice cream, or even a nice hot chocolate chip cookie fresh out of the oven. Please excuse me while I get a napkin to wipe the saliva from my chin.
Through all of this, there was something deeper inside of me that kept me from falling. My little "you got this" angels that just kept encouraging me to "stay the course", as my father would always say. Not to mention my sweet little niece who gave her mother a message to give me, "Mom, tell Karen that if she has one piece of sugar, I'm going to get on a plane and take care of business!" Oh how I love her sweet way of saying she's going to come kick my trash!
I stayed true; but at the same time, I tried to figure out what was happening. One doctor, who is very familiar with detoxing, said that as a body detoxes, weird things pop up through the process. I'll say!
As I thought more and more, I realized that I am also detoxing my organs. Liver, Spleen, Kidneys...the whole endocrine system is getting to breathe fresh air for the first time in many years. Each one releasing it's own waste into my system. That's kind of disgusting if you think of it long enough. Yuck!
With that, I had a light bulb moment. (Now when I share this with you, you might say...."Well...duh! I even knew that!" cut me some slack. I'm detoxing ok?) So here's the light bulb. If all these different organs are releasing their own form of waste into my system to cleanse themselves of all the goo I have so graciously piled on them. I NEED to be drinking TONS of water to flush my system! Could that be the reason my eye flared up again? It would make sense. I've even thought of a pretty high candida gig going on in my body. Or maybe it's just seasonal allergies. *laughing*
Bringing myself into awareness this week of how sugar is my association to living has once again brought me to an even greater understanding of how difficult habits and patterns are to break free of. Especially when things aren't going according to plan. My decision is this. Habits and patterns are just part of who we have become and who we have learned from; friends, family, whomever. That's it. It's up to us to create and make a difference in our own lives.
And lastly, This quote sums it up ~~ "Many of lifes failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up". ~Thomas Alva Edison
...I don't want to be one of those people...
I'm so glad you've stuck with it!! So proud!! I know how hard it is, I'm on day 24 without my usual go-to treats! It's not easy!! I've also recently read about ingesting bentonite clay for detoxing. Look into it, see if it's something that helps. :)
ReplyDeleteKeep going! You're doing great!!! I'll check into bentonite clay. I've heard of it being taken in small doses.
DeleteLiving without the usuals is challenging on the easiest of days. But....a toxic relationship is even more challenging. :)