Is it complicated or am I just making it complicated? These past 3 months have been on again/off again with the little white cube we so lovingly call sugar.
I've been doing some little experiments with myself and my addiction to this little tiny white cube that seems to have quite a huge grip on my very being. These experiments were things like heading out to Sheridan's, reading the menu board and thinking, "well, you've caved...so what...you can have sugar anytime, anywhere, anyplace with no guilt". (did I buy or did I fly?) I bought. But it was a mini. That's progress!!!
Then those thoughts of, "head out to the nearest Starbucks and get your little usuals, you've caved in, it's all over, sugar WINS". (did I buy or did I fly?) I flew.
I now realize that sugar is an emotional part of my life. It's that comfort after a very arduous day or some type of satisfaction after accomplishing a goal. (*laughing*...like the goal of eating whole for a day...*laughing*)
Being without those little white magical granules for those few short weeks, I felt like I had Godzilla-like will power! The times I "thought" I craved this bandit, the more I could remind myself that I actually felt better without it.
Remember my little experiments of heading out to my usuals and looking at the menu at the drive-thru? I found that I didn't want any of that processed incredibleness. What I really wanted was a lemony libation known as "lemon water". (I know, I know....groan....but its true!)
With each try at my usuals, my success rate was about 90%. Meaning that 90% of the time, I didn't cave and order a divinely chocolaty brownie or those oh so delicious chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven with chocolate chips melting all over my fingers. (licking my chocolaty fingers was a pre-curser to seconds, if you get my drift).
Every day became a great day to try again and if for some reason that little white cube took control, I determined that I wasn't going to let it completely take over and flip me into my old patterns of "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Believe me, there were days where I almost had seizures at the thought of missing out on that ultimate bite of sugary goodness! However....my awareness kicked in and challenged the need vs want scenario and "need" seemed to trump more than the "want".
Have I totally stopped having sugar now? Nope. It's a struggle every day and every day I try to win over those tiny little white granules of magical temptation. The thing I have noticed more than ever before is that I can stop at 2 cookies where before I couldn't stop after 6!
For all my little white cube addicts....keep going!
